Online:Velyn Guard

Velyn Guards are guards that patrol Velyn Harbor. They only appear after the liberation quest for Velyn Harbor is complete. They wear full sets of steel armor in High Elf style and carry either two-handed weapons or one-handed weapons and shields.

Types of Velyn GuardsEdit

Velyn Guard
Home City	Velyn Harbor
Race	High Elf	Gender	Female
Health	10,229,568 (Invulnerable)	Difficulty
Reaction	Justice Neutral
Pickpocket	Hard	Profession	Guard
Other Information
Faction(s)	Tamriel Guard

Velyn Guard (High Elf female)

A female High Elf Velyn Guard.

Velyn Guard
Home City	Velyn Harbor
Race	High Elf	Gender	Male
Health	10,229,568 (Invulnerable)	Difficulty
Reaction	Justice Neutral
Pickpocket	Hard	Profession	Guard
Other Information
Faction(s)	Tamriel Guard

Velyn Guard (High Elf male)

A male High Elf Velyn Guard.

Velyn Guard
Home City	Velyn Harbor
Race	Wood Elf	Gender	Female
Health	10,229,568 (Invulnerable)	Difficulty
Reaction	Justice Neutral
Pickpocket	Hard	Profession	Guard
Other Information
Faction(s)	Tamriel Guard

Velyn Guard (Wood Elf female)

A female Wood Elf Velyn Guard.

Velyn Guard
Home City	Velyn Harbor
Race	Wood Elf	Gender	Male
Health	10,229,568 (Invulnerable)	Difficulty
Reaction	Justice Neutral
Pickpocket	Hard	Profession	Guard
Other Information
Faction(s)	Tamriel Guard

Velyn Guard (Wood Elf male)

A male Wood Elf Velyn Guard.

DialogueEdit

Velyn Guards pull from the Wood Elf and High Elf guard dialogue pools.

Female AltmerEdit

If alerted, they'll call for you to stop where you are.

"Stop right there, outlaw!"

"Hold there at once!"

"Halt at once!"

"Hold it there!"

They'll accost you when they catch up to you.

"On the matter of your criminal behavior, I will gladly accept your bounty."

"You are the criminal I have been hunting? Really? How disappointing."

"Let me see ... so that is the crime you committed? I was hoping for someone a little more notorious."

"Do not think about running. There is a bounty on your head."

"Are you going to pay the bounty or am I going to have to take it from you?"

"Stop right there, lawbreaker. I will collect this bounty one way or the other."

"You know the law. You commit a crime, you pay a bounty."

"I assume you cannot afford your bounty, you vile delinquent. Am I wrong?"

"Why does the criminal element insist on being difficult? Pay your fine and save us both some grief."

"I will brook no aggression. Pay the bounty. Now."

"You simply must pay your bounty! Neither of us wishes you to become a fugitive."

"Allow me to explain how this works. You pay up and justice is served. Was that clear enough for you?"

"I applaud your efforts! I've rarely met criminals who are as stupid as they are incompetent!"

"I do not suppose you predicted this, but now is the moment when you surrender and pay your bounty."

"You cannot escape justice, you miscreant."

"No one breaks the law on my watch. Hand over the bounty."

"You are cornered. Pay your bounty forthwith!"

"Foul blackguard! You're brought to heel. Will you answer for your crimes!"

"All right, you low-born cur, time to pay the bounty! It is going to cost you ... now where did that writ go?"

"You are caught red-handed. Pay the bounty or else."

"I'd hate to get your blood all over my freshly cleaned armor. Do me a favor and just pay up, yes?"

"You want to make restitution for your crimes? Oh, very well. If you insist, I insist."

"Thought we would not catch you, eh? Well, we catch everybody! Everyone who breaks the law, I mean."

"Filthy reprobate! Now you will pay for your crimes."

"Too slow, troll-face! Now it is time to ... to .... Well, it is time for something, of that I am certain."

"You are a criminal. You owe a bounty. Pay me and perhaps your deplorable condition will improve."

"You can pay your debt in coin or in blood, vermin. Which is it?"

"They always send me to collect the bounties because I'm so pleasant! Unless you don't pay that is…."

"It proves true time and again––criminals occupy the lowest rung on the social ladder."

"Stendarr is with you today, friend. Pay your bounty and your slate shall be wiped clean."

"Pay the fine and you'll receive fair treatment. Honestly! Would the Guard ever lie to you?"

"Kicked up quite a fuss haven't we? Just hand over the bounty and I'll smooth things over. Easy."

"The only law your kind understands is the law of intense pain! So, will you pay or will you suffer?"

"You are a rogue and a scoundrel, and I mean that in the most insulting manner possible. Now yield!"

"I get it. Times are tough. Just hand over the bounty and we can pretend this never happened, all right?"

"I am certain you regret your actions. But you must pay a bounty so we all know you are certain."

"You pay the bounty, you go free. You do not, I kill you. Simple."

"Scoundrel! You shall answer to the fullest extent of the law!"

"If it were up to me, I would let your bounty slide. But it isn't up to me, is it? You will need to pay."

"You know what you did, you scoundrel! Right? So, um ... pay up, for whatever it was."

"Hold a moment!––uhm ... I had something to say. Oh right, you've got a bounty! Pay up."

"Hold, varlet! Pay for your crimes, or stare into the face of pain!"

"Let us keep this quick. Pay up and I…wait, am I supposed to let you go? That does not sound right."

"You there! I am looking for a criminal who looks ... exactly like you. Ha! Nice try, fiend ... Now pay up!"

"My stars you are quick! You should become a guard. The pay is lousy, but––Hold, you owe me a bounty!"

"Another crime, another bounty. I do hope you've been busy. My armor could use some touching up."

"Pay your fine and perhaps we can do something about the deplorable state of your existence."

"I am here to collect a bounty. Have no fear––once you pay, there shall be no hard feelings."

"I will give you some free advice––find a new line of work. Now, pay your bounty."

"Gracious––we've been busy haven't we? Well, I'm afraid the party is over. Pay up or else."

"It seems today isn't your day, friend. Come, now…pay your bounty."

"I believe you have a debt to pay, and not just to society. I require your bounty, friend."

"You simply must surrender and pay your fine. That is the way things are done here."

"Too late to run, you writhing maggot. Your bounty, or your life."

"Only the gods can truly judge you, but society demands that you account for your crimes."

"I may seem prim and proper to you, but I am extremely dangerous. I suggest you pay your fine."

If you pay your bounty, they'll be satisfied and let you go. The result is the same if you ask for clemency.

[Pay] Here's <payable bounty amount> gold and everything I've stolen. Clear my bounty.

"May you know that you were cleansed."

"I am surprised that you could count that high."

"What a surprise! You paid."

"Go ... and do not ... do the thing again."

"A bounty paid? Who would of thought it."

"What was this for? Oh right, bounty."

"Another bounty dealt with. What a good day!"

"Do avoid repeating offenses."

[Clemency] I have powerful friends. My bounty has already been covered.

"Fine, I will let it go this time."

If you flee, the guard will utter an ambient line of dialogue before giving chase.

[Flee in <30> sec] I won't pay the bounty.

"You shall not run!"

"You will not escape!"

"Just as I expected. Not a bit of honor!"

"Let your own debt be on your own head!"

"I will stop you, fugitive!"

"I knew you would run!"

"Another stupid move!"

"You provoke me? Foul grub!"

"Poor choice, knave!"

"Why are you running? Oh, right."

"Arrgh! I just polished my weapon!"

"Did I say something wrong? Oh, right."

"Oh my! You will not get away!"

"Did I stutter? Surrender, you rogue!"

"I didn't want to come to this."

"What happens next is your fault, villain!"

"I will pray for your soul!"

Male AltmerEdit

If alerted, they'll call for you to stop where you are.

"You will go no further!"

"Enough, criminal!"

"Stop at once!"

"Stop and face justice!"

"Cease all movement. Now!"

They'll accost you when they catch up to you.

"Another tramp dirtying up my streets. Typical. Just pay the bounty and be on your way."

"I have orders to collect your bounty. Save your protests for someone who cares."

"Thought you could get away without paying your bounty, did you? How amusing."

"Another day, another witless oaf disrupting the peace…. Pay your bounty or suffer the consequences."

"Stay your arms and render payment. Quickly, now. I have more rats to round up today."

"Think yourself clever, do you? The law is here to take its due. Pay your bounty or pay with your life."

"Halt, you low-born cur. There is a bounty on your head and I will see it paid in full."

"You are caught. Pay your bounty and I'll let you go back to whatever gutter you crawled out of."

"Nothing annoys me more than a criminal who wastes my time. Are you going to waste my time?"

"You reek of guilt, guilt, and more guilt! Will you surrender to my authority and pay your fine?"

"I am not trying to be difficult, but I need to ask for your bounty. What with your crimes, and all."

"The more I am paid, the less I remember. You do want me to forget this, don't you?"

"Your illicit activities have a cost, lawbreaker, and that cost is judgment!"

"Did you fail to notice me, outlaw? I get that a lot."

"Criminal acts are the last resort of the desperate and the damned. Pay up and it will be easier for you."

"Your actions prove your guilt, but there is no need to die this day. Pay your bounty."

"I collect bounties. I meet a lot of interesting people. Criminals, mostly, but interesting."

"If I forget to collect your bounty, please remind me. The last time it happened was so embarrassing."

"Am I a guard? Of course I am a guard. Why else would I stop you and demand you pay your bounty?"

"Time to pay up. You can run if you want, but believe me, you will not enjoy the catching part."

"Another half-wit attempts to elude the law, and another half-wit fails. Spectacular!"

"I have a thirst for justice and a thirst for mead. Lucky for you, I like mead more. Pay up."

"I need you to pay your bounty. For your crimes. And because, you know, justice."

"Would you mind surrendering and pay your bounty? Then I would not need to crack your skull."

"I will not read your charges. You would doze off before I finish. Pay your bounty and be on your way."

"Your evil endeavors end here, wrongdoer! Pay your bounty or suffer my wrath!"

"Bounty? Do I owe you a bounty? No, no, that cannot be right. It must be the other way around."

"I do not mean to bother you, but I am a duly appointed officer of the law and you owe a bounty."

"We all make mistakes. Some of us do not get caught. Unfortunately, you did."

"Pay up, lawbreaker, or we will have stern words! As soon as I remember where I put my weapon…."

"Did you forget to pay? I forget things, too. What were we discussing? Oh, yes, your bounty."

"Criminal behavior shall not be tolerated! Pay your bounty or prepare for my indignation!"

"Know what is really humiliating? Being beaten down by the guards. Spare yourself the embarrassment."

"I know you. You are famous! Probably not in the way you would like. Time to pay up."

"Scoundrel is such an unpleasant word. I prefer to say you are lawfully challenged!"

"I will never rest until you are brought to justice, villain! Will you pay your bounty?"

"I must collect the bounty of a felon, but cannot seem to locate the cad. Oh, it is you!"

"When I first saw you, I thought ... where do I know you from? Then I remembered––you are a criminal."

"Yes, yes. It is just a misunderstanding. I know. Nonetheless, I must demand you pay the bounty."

"I demand you pay your .... Oh, how interesting! Was that a bird? I mean, pay your bounty, criminal!"

"Please remind me. Are you supposed to pay the bounty, or am I? Oh yes, you are the one who pays."

"Will you pay your bounty, criminal, or must I draw my weapon and smite you repeatedly?"

"I almost walked right by you. Then I remembered your bounty."

"You are making my head pound, criminal! Just pay your bounty and away with you!"

"If you cause a scene and refuse to pay your fine, I will be forced to get belligerent on your arse."

"I need you to pay your bounty. For your crimes. And because, you know, justice."

"I am sure nobody will think less of you once you pay your bounty."

"You want to pay your bounty with what, a guilty expression? The law only takes gold, you fool!"

"You know how this works. I am a guard. You are a criminal. Let us play our roles and move on."

"You think yourself above the law? What gall! Pay your bounty, you misbegotten outlaw!"

"I sound angry? Of course I am angry! You would be angry too if you had to deal with idiot criminals!"

"Good day, criminal! I'm excited to be able to accept your bounty and clear your name!"

"Justice can be invigorating if you pay your bounty with a smile!"

"A reduction in personal wealth is the only punishment criminals understand! And bloody, bloody violence."

"Have you learned your lesson, felon? Crime is expensive!"

"Rights? You have no rights! but if you pay your bounty and stop annoying me, I might be lenient."

"I am sure this is all one big misunderstanding. Pay me your bounty. I will sort it out."

If you pay your bounty, they'll be satisfied and let you go. The result is the same if you ask for clemency.

[Pay] Here's <payable bounty amount> gold and everything I've stolen. Clear my bounty.

"Shameless right? Now get out of my sight!"

"A little light? Nah, it will do."

"Another bounty paid in full."

"I forget. Why were we talking?"

"Do not let me see you again!"

[Clemency] I have powerful friends. My bounty has already been covered.

"Justice is without mercy. Don't let it happen again."

"Could your excuse be anymore boring? Go."

"Happy to oblige!"

"This is a waste of my time."

If you flee, the guard will utter an ambient line of dialogue before giving chase.

[Flee in <30> sec] I won't pay the bounty.

"Impotent swine!"

"That was your last mistake, vermin!"

"I am in no mood for your shenanigans!"

"You would run from justice? Never!"

"Why make this harder for yourself?"

"We could have made a deal! Ugh, well too bad."

"Escape? Not on my watch, knave!"

"You made me raise my voice, felon!"

"Refuse to surrender, didn't you?"

"If you make me chase you, I will hurt you."

"Foolish. Very foolish!"

"This was probably all your fault!"

"Why must it always end this way?"

"Very well. I can treat you like a criminal!"

"Now we must fight. A shame!"

Female BosmerEdit

If alerted, they'll call for you to stop where you are.

"Stop right there!"

"You there!"

"Don't take off!"

"Aha!"

They'll accost you when they catch up to you.

"You've got a bounty to pay off, friend. You know I'm just doing my job, right? No hard feelings?"

"All right, I'm warning you! Pay off your bounty or ... or I'm going to ... Just pay your bounty, all right?"

"You know how this works. I don't want to fight you, but you've got a bounty to pay."

"Even corruption has its limits. Pay the fine."

"I understand. The law is fungible. Go on, then. Make me an offer."

"I know you've done illegal things, but I really am an admirer of your work!"

"Please, please ... refuse to pay. I haven't smashed a felon in a tree's age."

"Look at me. Do I look like someone you want to cross? Pay your bounty or I start taking organs."

"The manual says I have to demand you pay your fine, but it says I only have to ask once."

"You have turned deplorable into an art form! I'm not worthy to collect a bounty from you."

"Some guards demand payment. Me? I just stare and make you feel uncomfortable until I gut you."

"I prefer you don't pay your bounty. Then, according to the law, the bone breaking can begin."

"I can make all your problems go away. For a price. I'm talking about gold."

"I've got you now, criminal. Lucky for you, I'm easily distracted by shiny things."

"Want to see a trick? You give me gold, and I forget I ever saw you."

"If you pay your bounty with the same flair you use to commit your crimes, we'd be done by now."

"Scum like you gives scum like me a bad name. Now, come quietly."

"The law wants justice. Me? I want to open you up and root around in your innards. Or you can pay."

"A little theft here and there, fine. But you just crossed the line."

"Pay your bounty or I start ripping the heads off of pony guars. And when I run out of pony guars ...."

"So, criminal, what appendage would you like me to remove? Or will you ruin my fun and pay your fine?"

"No one except you and me needs to know about this. Got it?"

"In the name of the law, I demand ... or, y'know ... politely request payment on your bounty."

"All right, uhm ... criminal scum. You can go free if you pay the bounty. Seriously, I promise!"

"Uhm ... excuse me. I'm going to have to ask you to pay off your bounty .... Or else?"

"We don't want any more trouble. Just pay your bounty and move on."

"You want to leave without paying your bounty? It's nice to want, but you're going to pay."

"Bounty. Now."

"You're in trouble now, scum."

"That's it. Pay up."

"I don't mean to––I mean, I know you're busy––but you have a bounty on your head that needs paying."

"You thought you could flee? Everyone thinks they can flee. You won't believe how many get it wrong."

"Have you seen a criminal around here? I'm supposed to collect a bounty. Oh, it's your bounty!"

"As much as it pains me to do so, I must ask you to lay down your weapons and pay your fine."

"You're not going to try something, are you? Look, just pay your bounty and be on your way."

"You really thought you would escape? Huh. I suppose we can't all be sensible."

"We know what you've done––you can't escape. But you're going to try, aren't you? Pity."

"Everyone plans to get away clean. Then their plan meets reality. Today, I'm reality."

"I'll take something from you…your bounty or your life. It matters not to me."

"Justice catches up with us all eventually. Do yourself a favor and pay the bounty."

"Pay your bounty and move on."

"No excuses. I've heard them all. Pay your bounty."

"You want to give your gold away? Fine, I'll take your bounty. Unless you're fool enough to run."

"One way or another, you'll pay what you've done. Best to pay the bounty now."

"Your illicit activities are remarkably noteworthy. I'm almost embarrassed to ask for your bounty."

"In a sense, we're all prisoners of fate. Your fate is to pay a fine."

"It's useless to resist. Pay the bounty and you can go free."

"In the long run, we're all dead. Doesn't make what you did any less wrong."

"You really are a scoundrel. Oh how I love that word! Now be a dear and pay your bounty."

"As much as I respect everything you've done, I must ask you to pay your bounty."

"In the end, we all pay for our misdeeds. You're lucky to pay for your crimes with gold."

"As a lawbreaker, you truly are without peer or equal. I almost hate to request your bounty."

If you pay your bounty, they'll be satisfied and let you go. The result is the same if you ask for clemency.

[Pay] Here's <payable bounty amount> gold and everything I've stolen. Clear my bounty.

"The bounty has been paid. Hooray."

"The slate's clean, but I'll be watching."

"Clink clink. Such a musical sound!"

"Thanks. Seriously, thank you."

"Don't do it again! I bet you will."

"On your way, try not to do it again."

"I wish you well with your newfound freedom!"

[Clemency] I have powerful friends. My bounty has already been covered.

"Of course. There's nothing I like better than letting criminals go."

If you flee, the guard will utter an ambient line of dialogue before giving chase.

[Flee in <30> sec] I won't pay the bounty.

"Ah! why me?"

"Stop! I mean it!"

"Yield or I'll scoop out your brains!"

"Ah, now the fun begins!"

"I didn't want to hurt you!"

"Should have paid that gold!"

"You suicidal, or just crazy?"

"I thought we had an understanding!"

"I have a runner!"

"Wrong choice."

"To arms!"

"You won't get far!"

"Cease and desist, evildoer!"

"It's never good to resist fate!"

"It has to end this way, you versus me."

Male BosmerEdit

If alerted, they'll call for you to stop where you are.

"Don't move, not even a little!"

"Stand down!"

"Not another step!"

"I must insist you surrender!"

"Halt! Cease and desist!"

They'll accost you when they catch up to you.

"Surrender, villain! Can I call you villain? Do you prefer scoundrel? Hooligan? Whatever works for you."

"You have committed a crime, so you must pay a bounty. That's just how it goes."

"I suppose I should be excited to stop a criminal, but I can't muster the energy. Just ... just pay your bounty."

"It's not exciting work, but I do have to collect your bounty now."

"The Anti-Criminality Act, Section II, Subsection B states: Criminals must pay a bounty commensurate to their crimes."

"Why not gamble? You'll have a better chance of success than a life of crime."

"Just pay the bounty. No need to die for your crimes today."

"I'll never understand criminals. You all get caught, eventually."

"How did you hope to get away with this? Are you from the moons?"

"Do you even know the meaning of consequence? Today, your bounty is the consequence."

"Every fool thinks they'll escape justice. But you're no fool. You'll pay your bounty."

"Why would you do something like that? Do you enjoy paying bounties?"

"Looks like you caught me napping. No worries. Just pay the bounty and we're good."

"I guess I have to make you pay a fine now."

"Guilty? Innocent? What do I know of such things? Pay your bounty and I'm sure we can clear this up."

"The gods will judge you eventually, but today you must contend with the law."

"As Y'ffre is my witness, I will smite you if you refuse to pay your bounty."

"Y'ffre knows, I have the patience of a tree. Well? Just pay your bounty!"

"The Eight may know you atoned for your crime, but I need to see your bounty."

"I understand. Times are tough. But you still have to pay the bounty."

"I can't fathom why you'd choose a life of crime. Bounties are so costly! Speaking of which ...."

"You know how this works. Pay the bounty so I can go back to sleep. I mean, so I can get back to work."

"Excuse me. I ... I hate to be a bother, but I'm supposed to ask you to pay your bounty."

"Are you the violent sort? You don't look violent. I really hate dealing with violent criminals."

"According to my records, you owe a bounty for alleged criminal activities. Will you pay?"

"A hundred apologies in advance, but I have a job to do here. Could you pay your bounty please?"

"Have you no shame? Don't you care how the gods judge you? Give me your bounty and clear your name."

"Y'ffre helps those who walk the forest path. You? I think your best option is to pay your bounty."

"Just my luck, I actually caught you. Oh, very well! Please pay your fine, if you'd be so kind."

"I admit it. You scare the leaves off my tree. But I have a duty to uphold. Will you pay your fine?"

"By Y'ffre's lush branches, justice is a spiritual experience! Will you pray with me and pay your fine?"

"Why'd you have to ruin a perfectly comfortable day?"

"Let me help you clear your name. Hand over your bounty and I'll put in a good word next time I pray."

"Excuse me. I think you owe me a bounty. For crimes committed in the recent past. Allegedly. I think."

"Cooperate, pay your fine, and it'll all work out."

"I don't like collecting bounties, but it's my job. So how about you pay and we can all relax."

"So you've committed a crime. It happens. It's not the end of the world. Just pay the bounty."

"Look, I've heard it all before. Just pay your bounty and be on your way."

"I wonder ... if it's not too much trouble ... could I get you to pay your bounty now?"

"I know this is asking a lot, but it's my job. If it wasn't me, another guard would ask you to pay."

"I'm sorry it's come to this, but I sort of have a duty to uphold here. Will you pay your bounty?"

"If I could, I'd pay the fine for you. But that's not how this works. And I could lose my job."

"I'm sure you're innocent. Everybody is. But I still need to collect your bounty. Sorry!"

"Um, could I bother you to pay your bounty? That would be so much better than the alternative."

"I hate to ask, but…if it's all right with you, of course…could you please pay your bounty?"

"You are the most exciting thing to happen to me in weeks. Now, be good and pay the fine."

"The charges before you are as follows ... are you falling asleep? Don't do that!"

"Just pay the fine and get lost, all right? I'm off in an hour and I've had a long day."

"Halt, law-breaker! Don't look at me like that, they make us say it. Look, just pay the bounty, all right?"

"I don't want any trouble from you. Just pay the bounty and be on your way."

"I guess you didn't see me there. Happens a lot. You still have to pay the bounty."

"If I deign to accept your bounty, please don't tell the other guards. You aren't exactly noteworthy."

"This is usually a waste of my time, but I'll ask anyway. Lawbreaker, will you pay your bounty?"

"Just as I expected. Another foolish criminal who needs to be punished. Now pay your fine, you cad!"

"Let me explain this so your tiny mind can grasp the meaning. You must pay your bounty now!"

"Do you know how to pay your bounty, or are you as stupid as every other criminal I deal with?"

"How foolish you are, to think you could get away with a crime! Do you also think to avoid the bounty?"

"Most criminals never learn. Are you the exception? Let's see if you pay your fine."

"I usually deal with a higher class of criminal, but I suppose I can accept your bounty."

If you pay your bounty, they'll be satisfied and let you go. The result is the same if you ask for clemency.

[Pay] Here's <payable bounty amount> gold and everything I've stolen. Clear my bounty.

"Hmph. Thought you weren't going to pay."

"Honestly, the nerve of some people."

"The gods smile on those who pay their debts!"

"I did it! I collected a bounty!"

"That worked out better than usual!"

"Praise the Eight! The bounty has been paid."

"Good. Now to file the paperwork."

"Bounty payment in full? How unexpected."

"We're done here? Oh yes we are!"

"Sometimes even the dumb ones surprise me."

[Clemency] I have powerful friends. My bounty has already been covered.

"The gods rarely grant second chances. Do not waste this one."

If you flee, the guard will utter an ambient line of dialogue before giving chase.

[Flee in <30> sec] I won't pay the bounty.

"I must insist you surrender!"

"Now this is too much excitement!"

"Fleeing a crime is also illegal!"

"I gave you a chance!"

"Let's get this over with."

"Oh, I wish it hasn't come to this."

"Halt scoundrel! Or face judgement!"

"Yield villain! Or suffer mightily!"

"Stop there! Stop there at once!"

"Just my luck!"

"Try not to hurt me too badly!"

"I was having such a nice day!"

"I'm not even on duty!"

"Might I trouble you to yield?"

"Make no mistake, you'll regret this!"

"The ignorant never learn!"