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Date: 12 Evening Star, 1E 2713 (?)
After a year of contemplation, I've decided to take my place in the ranks of the Clockwork Apostles. At least I think it's been a year—time moves so strangely here.
It wasn't an easy decision. In my heart, I've never stopped serving my liege, Reman Cyrodiil. But the conflicts of Tamriel seem far away now. Akavir, Valenwood, Colovia; they all feel so distant—so detached from everything that matters here. In the Clockwork City, labors matter. Logic matters. Order matters. As an apostle of Lord Seht, I can make a real contribution. And I can honestly say, if anyone is worthy of supplanting Reman Cyrodiil in my heart, it's Sotha Sil.
I struggled with the thought of worshiping him, initially—mostly because he seems so uncomfortable with the idea. I worried that our conversations would cease, or that he would think less of me. Luckily, he seemed pleased when I told him the news.
"I can think of none better." he said. Then he knelt down beside Marius, and took his tiny hand. For a moment, he seemed very distant—mournful almost. Eventually he whispered, "Your mother is both mighty and wise. I am glad I found the two of you."
I don't know why, but I blurted out, "Why did you save us, anyway?"
Seht paused for a moment, then whispered, "Because one day you will shine a light."
Before I could ask him what he meant, he vanished. Marius laughed at that. He never gets tired of seeing Sotha Sil dissolve in light. For my part, I felt a sense of unease. I hope I didn't offend him.
Date: 26 First Seed, 1E 2721 (?)
Something is wrong. Marius collapsed again. According to the monitoring factotum, he grew weak and short of breath, then fell down just outside the Cloisters. This is the third time in as many weeks.
At first I thought he just pushed himself too hard. Nine year-old boys have a tendency to overexert, and he's always been a bit frail. But when I found him in his room, his face was pallid and there was a rattle in his voice. He asked me what was wrong. I told him I honestly didn't know. I'll take him to see the Factotum Medica tomorrow.
Date: 9 Rain's Hand, 1E 2721 (?)
After days of tests, the factotums and clinicians finally gave Marius a diagnosis: birth-related heart defect. Apparently, the circumstances of his birth (my ruined body, his severe prematurity, and the journey through the veil) caused some kind of hemorrhage, or twisting of the arteries. In Tamriel, he'd likely be dead already. Or rather, dead a second time.
I asked for a prognosis, but the factotums refused to offer one, citing a wide range of potential outcomes. He could see thirty or he could die tomorrow. In either case, his life will be difficult and brief. I remain (uncharacteristically) optimistic. Lord Seht has mended worse injuries and brought people within a breath of passing back to life. Here in the Clockwork City, a defect like his can't possibly be terminal. I will petition Sotha Sil as soon as he emerges from seclusion.